 | 19th Oct | Oct 18, '09 12:59 PM
for everyone |
Thank you, I really have a wonderful time, everything turns out out of my expectation. To be honest, I never expect so much about that. Anyway I just like it.
Hmm..What i want to remark for today is "somehow or rather, life is all about bonding and understanding".
A bowl of tang yuen, remind me about student life..How come? I also dont know. But that's not important. The important is about mind's memories. Place that i stayed and things that I used to do it in the past become so 'strange', like never happen before..Start to force myself to recall back, but it dint work. Funny..
 Yea. Convocation is over. i believed after this our (including those who were just graduated) life will be different. In deed I've name this moment as my greatest moment in life. It is time to step in the world to meet and approach different people, time to persue goals and dreams. To be honest, I never thought that I would enjoy my working life just as my student life. The transformation really made no different. Well, I likes my job, in fact i love it. The excitement towards career and future are not by myself but by His power. I believed He will continue to lead me in every way and every moment..When I'm helpless, I know He is my helper. When I'm lonely, I know He is with me. For all these while, I have been experience His goodness and blessing. He lift me up and send different people to my life when I need it. And last but not least, He told me that work is a gift from Him. Where can you find such a wonderful Friend/ Father/ King/ God in this universe?
 Guidance and the Voice of God By Phillip Jensen and Tony Payne I believed all christian have long been fascinated with how God guides. We have battled with questions like : What is God's will for my life? How should I discern his voice and respond? What is God's plan for me? How do I find it? How does he communicate it to me? How do I hear his voice? Is God concerned with the trivial details of life (such as what sort of car we buy), or is he only interested in the 'big' decisions like marriage and career? What if I should step outside God's will for my life? The good news are God does have a plan, He promises to guide us, and we have a part to play. This is what the book explains. The writers then go on to apply the principles they explain in the book to the Church, Work and Marriage. I found the book to be enormously helpful and very easy to read, and I recommend it to everyone who wants to understand God's plan for them.
What can be worst than a christian feel that Lord is away from him/her? It seems like God is million miles away from her. No matter how passionate she prays, it seems like nothing take place. The worst thing was when she felt that the prayers were not reach to heaven. Just like tossing a stone into water but never reach ground. Each and everyday she feel that she is lossing the ground little by little. She could do anything God tell her as long as God show her. However it seem so hard in this moment. She dont has any idea what is going on. Why God turn His deaf ear to her? Is God angry with her? What has she done? What can she does to improve this situation? Well, this is my spiritual life in this current state. Struggle and struggle and struggle. Try to get rid from the darkness. But no matter how hard i tried, darkness seem never leave. Fears have knocked me down to the very pit until i cant help myself out. This morning as i read a book, there is a sentence that really inspired me. "God promise He will never leave you nor forsake you. God can never lies." It's true. God never leave me since i am a christian, i guess He will do the same in my future. Maybe i just need to wait patiently. Maybe this is the only thing I can do.
What's a great recall !!
God stands ready to deliver you from whatever burdens you're carrying - from health struggles to financial problems. But unlike the sudden rescue you may be hoping for, your deliverance may come in the form of a process instead. Yes, God could intervene just once and remove your problems. Often, though, He chooses to walk beside you as you carry your burdens, helping you gradually learn to trust Him enough to give them over to Him.
Here's how you can let go of your burdens: Be open to any outcome. Rather than trying to convince God to answer your prayers in a certain way, tell God that you trust Him to do what's best. You can't know what your deliverance will look like or when it will come, but God does. Imagine Jesus hanging on the cross, and yourself approaching Him while carrying your burdens. Then, in prayer, leave those burdens at the foot of the cross for Him to handle. Eat fresh-baked grace every day. God will give you fresh grace for each day that will strengthen you to overcome whatever challenges you face. Pray for His grace each morning. Remember these graceful truths: God loves you as you are right at this moment; He knows all about you and loves you anyway; He forgives you even when you can't forgive yourself; and there is nothing you can do to make God love you any more or less than He already does.
Break free of judging. Stop judging other people, and don't let other people's judgment of you make you feel condemned. Instead, embrace the grace that God so freely offers to you, and extend grace to others. Ask God to heal your heart from legalism and shame. Enjoy the freedom that God's grace makes possible in your life. Give up what should have been for what is and what can be. Don't be so preoccupied with regretting your past that you can't fully live in the present or move into the future with confidence. Pursue healing for your pain from the past. Ask God to help you change negative habits into positive ones. Pray for the discernment you need to identify evil lies and reject them in Jesus' name. Ask God to redeem your scars from past wounds for the sake of His kingdom. Look at reality. Let go of what you wish was true and accept what actually is true about your life right now. Hold onto the reality that God is with you in the middle of your circumstances. Ask Him to help you become more aware of His presence and notice His work in your life, even though all is not as you'd like it to be right now. Forgive others. Get rid of bitterness that poisons your soul by forgiving people who have hurt you in the past. Rely on God's help to go through the process; you can count on Him to empower you. Let your gratitude for all that God has forgiven you for motivate you to obey His command to forgive other people. Renounce your right to get even with those who have hurt you and choose to forgive, no matter how you feel. Trust God to heal you as He helps you forgive. Forgive yourself. Confess your sins regularly,repent of them by turning away from them and toward God, and accept the forgiveness God offers you as a result. Whenever you remember your sins after that, view them simply as reminders of God's grace and mercy to you. Resist temptation. Ask God to help you avoid going down easier paths than the ones that will truly honor Him. Realize that giving into temptation will harm you and cause you to lose the opportunity to invite God to work for a greater good in your life. Be alert to the specific areas in which you're the most vulnerable to temptation, and guard against temptation especially in those areas of your life. Surrender every part of your life to God and ask Him to help you grow stronger and more spiritually mature. Whenever something that you want conflicts with God's will for you, be willing to choose God's will instead of your own. Overcome fear. You never need to fear anything, because God has your best interests at heart. Make God your absolute top priority by placing Him at the center of your life and basing all your decisions on your relationship with Him. Get to know God's Word well through frequent Bible reading, reflection, and study. Whenever you encounter evil lies that will trap you in fear if you believe them, counter them with biblical truth that will lead to freedom. Ask the Holy Spirit to renew your mind every day and help direct your thought process. Break free of shame. The purpose of guilt is to bring you to God to deal with your sins. Once you've done that - through confession and repentance - you don't need to feel ashamed anymore. Identify moments in your life when you've felt shame and what you told yourself as a result. Then pray for God to heal your soul from the damage that shame has caused. Ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you - a valuable person worth of great love. Thank Jesus that He actually became shame as He died on the cross for the world's sins, so that He could offer you true freedom from shame once and for all. Discover your purpose. No matter how inadequate you may feel or how disappointed you may be with your circumstances, nothing about your life is an accident. Look beyond what you can see to God and ask Him to show you His purposes for your life. Pray for the ability to see the great value in your life and to love your life as God loves it. Ask God to help you fulfill your potential in every part of your life. Know that you are chosen and loved. Your life matters. Embrace God's call, despite difficult circumstances, and follow wherever He leads you so you don't waste any of your great potential here on earth. Trust more deeply. Whenever you need to risk trusting God more, remember who it is that you're called to trust: the One who created you, the Source of all love and power, and the One who wants th e best for you. Be willing to follow Him step by step. Enjoy God's love. Embrace God's limitless love for you, and let His love compel you to let go of whatever burdens you're holding onto so you can hold on only to God. Stop trying to find in others what can only be found in your relationship with God. Every day, ask God to give you a fresh revelation of His love for you, and thank Him for it. See yourself as God sees you. Write a list of all the negative things you can remember people saying about you in the past - things that made you feel bad about yourself. Then pray over the list, asking God to heal your hurt and forgive those who hurt you. Tear up the list or burn it afterward. Ask God to help you view yourself accurately - from His perspective. Embrace the hope God offers you. You are never too far away for God to reach, and your life is never broken beyond repair. Even when you've wandered away from God or felt abandoned, God had still been present with you. The very cells that hold your body together are in the shape of a cross. Reflect on that fact and let it lead you to the real hope God offers you because of Jesus' death on a cross. No matter how hopeless your current circumstances may seem, you always have hope because of your relationship with God through Jesus. Trusting in that hope will bring you the ultimate deliverance. Tear down strongholds of evil's influence in your life, invite the Holy Spirit to direct your thoughts, and make a habit of responding to God's hope by living faithfully for Him each day. by Whitney Hopler
Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
| 展開清晨的翅膀 | May 17, '09 11:13 PM
for everyone |
Wings of the Dawn
主耶和華，你已經鑒察了我。Father, You know all my heart and life
我坐下，我起來，你都已曉得。
You know when I sit and when I rise
我行路，我躺臥，你都細察，你也深知我一切所行。
You know all my ways
我舌頭上的話，你沒有一句不知道。
There is no word, not even a thought that You do not know
你在我前後環繞著我，按手在我身上。
I surrounderd by Your spirit
這樣的奇妙，是我不能測透，
Such amazement, I shall never understand
你的至高你的尊貴，是我永遠不能所及。
Is not within my capability to reach such a supreme and venerable God
我可以往哪裡去躲避你的靈？
Where can I hide from Your spirit ?
我可以往哪裡去逃，可躲避你的面？
Where can I hide from Your presence ?
我若展開清晨的翅膀飛到地極，就在那裡，
No matter where, no matter what my life goes
你的雙手也必引導我。
You will be there to guide me
 Just finished a japanese series, 1 liter of tears (一公升の眼泪 ). I guess most of the people knew this series. It is an inspirational series based on a true life story about a teenager (Aya) who endured through an incurable disease that slowly kills her by the days. This is my first time heard about this disease, Spinocerebellar ataxia, the most cruel disease. Sometimes in life, things may not go our way and perhaps no matter how hard we try, we may not achieve the outcome. Nonetheless, we must not give up. On the other hand, we should continue work hard against all the pains and suffering, turn the negative into a positive outlook of life, just like Aya. It is not by chance that we have a healthy body, able to perform daily task such as eating, sleeping, walking and etc. It is by God's blessing. Never take this blessing for granted. In deed we should count this blessing and be grateful.
 It has been such a long time i did not spend a quality time with people around me, neither in reading. Since final year, i always fall in the position of making decisions. Study or Working? WHre to work? Sound simple but it's hard. What is a successful life? How to achieve it? How to make a perfect desicion? In deep my heart, i have all the answers. Pray ! What shall i do after pray? Wait and trust His guidance. How to own a perfect life? Listen and obey His words. And He will bless you. How to make a right decision? Take God's works as the first priority in making decision. Theoretically it should be like that. But some how it is hard to do it. So i tried to run away, letting myself to live in a ' wonderland'. Try to forget things around me by spending all the time watching series. But now i can tell everyone that this is not a good way. Slowly, it spoil my relationship with God, people around me..And when the time is nearer, some how i have to step out from my wonderful land, as time is not allowed. Well, is time to have a farewell with my 'series'.
| A Lost | Apr 11, '09 4:02 PM
for everyone |
 This Good Friday was a meaningful but also a pain to my family and church too.That day was god-grandma's funeral. She has run a good race, I not so sure about how she began her race, but she end the race by leaving a legacy to all the believers. She is remembered as a faithful servant, faithful to her very end of life. From her favourite passage, Psalm 63, showed that she has an intimate relationship with God. This intimacy, lead her to set a commitment which is " There is no excuse not to attend Sunday Service and no excuse not to serve God". She did it. She serve God though she was sick seriously. She choose to attend church when her husband was in critical moment and unconscious. Doing that not because she not worry about him, she just had faith to her God. She had set a good example to all who know her. It was so hard to stop our tears during the funeral service.Truely, it is a lost to church and family.
 I have a very complicated family background. One of the example is i have four grandma, maternal grandma, god-grandma, grandma and another step-grandma. My god-grandma is my grandma step sister..confuse? Haha..let's make it more complicated, relationship of grandma and step grandma is love rival. My favourite grandma is maternal grandma, second is god-grandma. Simple reason, because they treat me better and they love me. One thing i always proud of is my cho cho (great grandmother) is a nyonya. I explored to nyonya food since i was young and i like it so much. Every chinese new year, grandma will prepare special dishes which based on cho cho's secret recipe. Well, cho cho and grandma past away since i was in secondary school. SInce then, god-grandma is the only one who know how to cook nyonya dishes. Honestly, she is a good cook, i like her nyonya kuih, it's so nice and so far i cant find any kuih in market can compare with her. I miss her kuih and her. It was shocked to receive a phone call from sister. " Jie..god-grandma just past away.." She is a brave and tough grandma. She suffered a lot before die. For some people, she was living in 'hopeless days' as there is no cure to her sickness, but she never give up. Because she knew that her hope is given by God. God promise eternal life to those who believed in Jesus. She hold her last breathe after a prayer. She might suffered for the sickness but she "went" in peace. In my memories, she was the one brought me to sunday school. She was the one brought dad and mom to church. She was a faithful servant. She can act very well. She was a teacher, a good cook, a good baker, the most pretty grandma. Thank God for what He had done in two thousands ago. By His blood, we have hope -- eternal life. I know i will meet her again in heaven. This bring great comfort to me.Lord, thank you.
 April 2009..my last month in campus, finally is my turn to leave. Feel so uncertain in future, where will I work? Work as what? Will i still have the desire and opportunity to serve? so much to consider before making a decision. To be honest, i'm nervous as i come to this new phrase of life. I'm not excel in academic nor softskill. Being a 'middle level student', what can i do in order to breakthrough all these? "I have nothing left besides God", i like this sentence. Ya, the only thing i can do is totally rely on Him. 15 He said: "Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: ' Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. 16 Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel. 17 You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' " In 2 Chronicles 20:15-17, it described the deliverance of God to His people. I know my God is a great God, He can make anything happen. But will He do the same thing in my life again? I wish He will. Lord, I thirst for your deliverance.
Padas river is located in the interior of the sourthern part of Kota Kinabalu that is only accessible by train. Basically, a white water rafting paddler needs to sign a life certificate as this river is class as grade 4 river. ( grade 4 river is actually the highest and most extreme grade for non-trained paddlers)
It all started with 7 USM Engineering brave survivors who boarded a van from Kota Kinabalu and transit at the Beaufort train station to board an old British Colonial steam train named Thomas. For your information, this train is the oldest train in Borneo and its’ railway track is just along the padas river. At first, I was excited to get myself wet. However, things changed after the guide gave us the safety briefing and told us about the things that we going to encounter. We were told by our guide, JJ that this water rafting covers a distance of 10km that holds 7 exciting and tough rapids. These rapids carries amusing names such as Merry Go Round, Break Point, Scooby Doo, Cobra, Curve, Lambada and Head Hunter. Each rapid will give us the feel of the motion as what the name means. After going through the first rapid, my heart started to beat very fast. I told myself that there is no turning back. The only thing i can do is to listen to the instructions. So as our guide-JJ bellowed: “ Everybody, paddle harder!”, all of us did so without thinking. Well, everything went well until we met Washing Machine. Before we meet the Washing Machine, JJ already warned us that she’s quite cruel. So we paddled even harder and harder. Then...we saw her. Standing there arrogantly, almost tall like our lembaran hostel. I just stared at her, my mouth open wide and my paddle stand still. The very Next second, i felt a thud on my head...then whoooosh! There was darkness and i heard “brrr...brrr..” as i realised i was totally submerged in the water and being push down by the current. At that moment, i had no control of my body. I was struggling and tried to grab something around me. Unfortunately, all I could grab were paddles. For a moment, i felt an extreme *(calmless) that i have never experienced before. I could remember JJ telling us during the safety briefing that “ if your boat capsizes, and you are drowning,dont panic. Keep calm and just let your body float. However, theory and practical are two different things for me at that moment.
After struggling for sometime, i decided to surrender. However it just took place for a few seconds as an inner voice shouted at me: Tan Sze-Lyn, how can you die at such a young age? There are so many thing in this world waiting for you to accomplish. I told myself, girl..you need to help yourself out from this. Finally I managed to catch the life line but at the very next second i heard JJ shouting loudly asking us to let go of the life line as they wanted to over turn the boat to the normal position. Hearing that, I just let go and in the mean time i managed to catch a breather. Then I heard a familiar voice. My friend, Janice was crying. I was estatic at this point as this indicates that i’m not alone anymore! I was the third person who was pulled back into the boat. We were all feeling panic and held on to the life line. So it took quite some time to overturn the boat. And we actually passed through the fourth rapid as well which was the Merry-go-round. Simon and Jason were far behind the boat and we only managed to retrieve 3 paddles back in the boat. This was insane! All we know at that time was to save the two and to get back the rest of the paddles. After everyone got back to the boat, we were scolded because we didn't follow instructions by not letting go of the life line at once. That experience taught us to paddle in the right way for the rest of the journey but also terrified us. Then he told us that there are another few more big rapids which might cause our boat to overturn again. Oh no God, please don’t let this happen again. I prayed to God. After passing through the break point, we met Cobra which is the most extreme rapid in Padas river. At one moment, i could feel that our boat was literally flying in the air. Everyone shouted like crazy..God please help us..come on dude we can do it.. and at the same time we paddled with all our strength. When everyone was united it overcame our fears ...Yahooo! we managed to do it. Then he told us if our boat overturns in the Cobra rapid and we are trapped by the current, we might keep turning there if we do not know how to come out. Crazy man.. Shock of my life..Thankfully, After the Cobra rapid, the rest are just mild ones. Wow, it was wet and wild! Two hours passed by quickly and our hearts were still pounding when we alighted from our raft. Rafting in raging waters is no laughing matter. My heart literary “stopped” when I tried to picture the two big drops along the river. Anyway i thank God for His protection and also for giving us the chance to experience capsizing during white water rafting. ..It would be utterly if our boat had not overturn..If you ask me have I conquered my fear towards water? Not really. Will I do it again? Maybe, just maybe. So..if you guys have yet to experience this, please do so..
 最珍贵的角落 Most precious corner 曲：游智婷 詞：萬美蘭 谢谢你灿烂笑容，照亮我的天空 Thank you for your delightful smile, it brighten my world 谢谢你分享心情，把我放在你心中 Thank you for your deep sharing and keep me in your heart 夜里有时为寒冷，你我生根同暖土 Despite the cold night, you and i are warm together 友情是最亮的星，我的生命从此美丽 Friendship is the brightest star, my life thus becomes beautiful 当你被花朵包围尽情欢欣 When you are joyful being surrounded by flowers, 我带春风使你舞其中 I will bring spring breeze so that you can dance 当你正走在坎坷路， When you are going through tough situations 我会伴你在左右 I will walk along with you 一起向蓝天欢呼，向白云招手 Let's shout to the blueness sky and wave to the snowy white cloud 我们要一起笑一起哭 We laugh and we cry together 千万人中有个人懂我 Among the millions, there is one who knows me well 你有最珍贵的角落 you have your most precious corner
 Have you ever truely feel that the lyric of the worship song are so real, every word just speak out your most inner heart? I did, not only express my inmost feeling but it bring healing too. It was so amazing. I'm grateful to this friend, Jesus. God works in many way. When i decided to start a new chapter, there is always a refreshing spirit from Him. After the refreshing, a voice is heard. Do not to give up, hang on with it by the strength of God. As give up is not the teaching of God. It was so wonderful. The progress of clay by being moulded to a better shape and quality is hard. Sometime it just make the clay feel so hard to breath. Most propably the clay will think that potter has been too tough to her, she might be lost herself and everything as she cant see the future. The voice of potter are so mild and she just cant hear it. But for sure, the potter never stop loving her, never stop to care of her needs, and he will still continue his work till she is molded to the shape that the potter desires.So clay, dont give up, dont lost the faith and hope in Him. Fully surrender and trust this potter.
 When waves of sorrow come No word can express all my pain O Lord, my precious Lord Would You come and listen to my heart? When I'm on the wing of hope No word can express all my joy O Lord, my precious Lord Would You come and listen to my heart? Draw me by Your side and listen to my heart, Lord Every heart beats cries out the yearning of my soul Draw me by Your side and listen to my heart Tell me that You are listening and knowing my deepest thought
 I know you are silently crying
I know there’s a bitterness in your heart I know all your fears and your worries Open your heart and have faith in your life Come to Me Chorus : Come to Me, my beloved child, Speak to Me, I will listen to you, Come to Me, my beloved child, I am here, I will heal your broken heart, Come to Me Refrain : Jesus was wounded for your transgressions, Jesus was bruised for your iniquities, The punishment that brought by men was upon Him, By His stripes my child you are healed. I likes this song. Song that remind me that He is the only hope for hopeless, healer for the sick, source of water for the thirsty, shelter for the homeless..In fact God spoke to me through this song when i was in depression. Losing someone I loves and focus in life, He comfort me, restore my days with His loves and words. The love and peace that the world fail to give. Indeed it is a blessing to experience Him.
A couple days a go, i was attended Passion Conference (World Tour) in Kuala Lumpur where there was thousand of uni students came and worship together. The conference had Louie Giglio, Christ Tomlin and his band. It was a great time to worship, singing contemporary music and new version of hymm (Amazing Grace). It was even more exicting that we had a prayer time, listened to the word of God and the story of Ashley and the fruitcake. I just have to share the story that read by Louie from Ashley's journal because i was really blessed by it.
Ashley is a student of University of Florida, the Top party school in the States. Now you can imagine what happens when the parties would start. She is an unbeliever, living in an apartment with her boyfriend. She was in her senior year when one day she went home and caught her boyfriend sleeping with another girl; of course she was devastated. She broke up with him, kicks him out of the apartment and posts an ad at school about needing a new roommate.
A girl named Christa found it and later on became Ashley’s roommate. While Ashley was on her depressed mode, she wrote about how screwed up her life is and every once in a while mentioned details about her new roommate Christa, how she acts crazy and is a freako believing in God and all that Christian stuff; Ashley says: WHAT A FRUITCAKE ?!
Ashley gets more and more intrigued at how her roommate lived her life, there was a day Ashley was wallowing over her situation crying whole day and eating ice cream, and her roommate took time to ask her if there was any problem. The roommate sat beside her and started eating ice cream too. Ashley told her roommate what happened and she said she never heard the response she was expecting to come out; no condemnation but genuine care and sympathy. The roommate asked if she could pray for her but of course, Ashley refused. Ashley’s Mom and step brother are Christians. She said she would have expected her brother to be good to her, but it’s puzzling her that Christa, the fruitcake, acts that way with her.
Ashley becomes all the more bothered how Christa had been living her life which was opposite of how she lives. It was obvious that the roommate didn’t drink, and when asked if she slept with her boyfriend whom she’s been with for three years she said she’s still a virgin. That was crazy stuff for Ashley who could sleep with a guy she’s only been with for three weeks. She asked why Christa was living her life that way, and the answer was a desire to please God in all that she does.
Christa shared about how much Jesus loved her. Ashley kept writing on her journal, and just can’t accept that God could forgive her. God is just not for her type. Ashley was on her moment of unbelief. But it was funny how Christa would share about her experience at a Passion conference and even had a DVD of Louie Giglio sharing a sermon. Ashley writes about how crazy that was. To Ashley, God just can’t forgive a crap like her but God was working in Ashley’s life, and Christa is doing her work in being a good witness of God’s love and grace. As they lived together and the days passed by, Christa had shared about the good news of God’s grace that forgives, even to the worst of all people, even Ashley. She saw that love in “fruitcake” and wanted that for herself. One day, Ashley finally believed and gave in and she said in her journal, “that was it”, the day she became a Christian; the unconditional love of Jesus flooded her heart with peace. She experienced this love and grace that God has for everyone. Ashley attended one of the Bible studies where Christa attends. The youth didn’t act in a crazy way but were interested at her and were genuine. So they sang and Ashley didn’t know the song but she really liked it and felt like raising her hands too, but she didn’t. When she got home, she googled the lyrics of the song they sung and it just communicated to her so well. Everyone needs compassion
A love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender Shine your light and let the whole world see
We’re singing for the glory of the risen King…Jesus Ashley and Christa talked about how God’s children worship Him and that’s one of the ways.
Ashley made her family know about her being a Christian and her mom cried and her step brother was so happy to see her changing. Their prayers were answered. Ashley emailed Louie about her experience, and Louie shared this story to many people, even writing it to the passion blog and it’s being heard in their podcast. Ashley was thrilled that many people can know of her experience, that of God’s unconditional love forgiving her and changing her. Louie scanned through the pages of Ashley’s journal and jumped to a couple of pages near the end where Ashley was very excited for her graduation. Louie wanted to see and know that she graduated, but there were empty pages. No words were written about her graduation….and the journal was handed on to Louie by Ashley’s father…. Ashley died in a car accident, but her story and God’s love that changed her life for 3 months is now being known all around the world. It took a “fruitcake” for Ashley to know about this love and grace, and Louie reads her nicely written story in their Passion tour. After heard this story, i had a mixed feeling.We never know when is our last breath.Ashley past away in such a young age and yet she had leave a wonderful legacy to our Heavenly Father. On the other hand, i was greatly inspired by fruitcake who never gave up on Ashley and never thought herself highly or better than others. Fruitcake was'nt a perfect girl but she tried to live out her faith and shined for God. It then strip me is no matter how small or insignificant of our actions we think, it does play a role. Lending a listening ear, eating ice-creams along with Ashley, trying to heal her broken heart or even offering a simple prayer. It does play an important role.
 What has Jesus done on the earth was great..but how many people acctually give thanks to what He did after they knew Jesus was crucified because of their bondage of sin. But He never give up in doing these again and again, which keep on send His disciples to tell us how much He loves us. His loves is great. unmeasured, amaze, uncondition and never fail. In life, shall we just give what we can give and never expect any return, not even a word of thank you. Because Jesus has set the example and He has promise the reward. So let's us dont be discourage even we did our best and no one seem to appreciate it. Instead we should always keep our eyes sharp, appreciate those who gave their best and encourage one another. Dont ever stop giving otherwise we will fall into satan's trap.It is hard but in Him everything is possible as He has risen from the death.Change the culture by His power and loves but dont expect it will happen immediately.Because God likes step by step.
Suddently i talk like a pastor or someone very holy and perfect?! haha, i'm not..still learning, trying..
 Was strike by a video click that shown by a speaker during Easter service. A letter from hell..Guess God put me in civil with purpose..there are only 4 chinese girls, my closer coursemate..but not really a close friend..Hmm..tan sze-lyn..you should start do something..else will be miss these oppoturnity forever.. Found no joy and peaceless in life as i far away from God..engage by alot of designs, project..but in deed..i know that this is not the real reason..is an excuse.. Sometime spirit do downgrading as in relationship with some people turn sour..Haih..I need courage and time to step out from this fake comfort zone.. I should focus my eye on God not other people..even a closest friend..The only way that i can free from these anger, envy, peaceless, disappointment, discontentment.. I lack of wisdom in relationship, lack of patience in caring, lack of understanding to others.. I really need a restoration..as in friendship, study, serving heart, love.. Thanks for never giving up me.. 
For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. ROMANS 5:6
The cross is not an example of victimization, it is demonstration of a love that nobody on this earth can comprehend. The cross is not an example of powerlessness, it is the love offering of the strongest, most powerful, most courageous human being that ever walked the face of the earth. The cross is not an example of a martyr dying for a cause, it is God come in the flesh, becoming a bloody sacrifice for His creatures.
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